Being human means we have to go through various experiences; the good, the bad, and more often than not, the confusing. Each experience is unique. Some produce memories that are so good we don’t want to let them go, and some experiences we might like to forget stay with us forever. Then there are those situations that are so confusing that we wonder if we should hold on to them in case they end up becoming some of our most valued and beautiful experiences, some we know we need to let go, and some that we haven’t decided about so we are holding on with the hope that they will turn out for the best.
Sometimes the things that get in the way of processing these things that need to go are our own personal issues like pride, false beliefs, addiction, low self-esteem, and fear. Be it in our families, the workplace, our social places, or other relationships, we do encounter these obstacles at times, and deciding what to do about them can be difficult or confusing.
You may be asking yourself, why is it important to let go? And, how do you let go? The basic reason we need to let go of negative things is that they may be hurting us, preventing our success, or keeping us from being open to new and better opportunities.
Letting go of negativity sets us free from whatever we are holding on to while opening space for new and better things. We let go so that we can live our lives to the fullest. To be able to let go, we need to be aware of what holding on is costing us. In other words, we need to be dreaming of a better life and also be determined to get it. We should be willing to get rid of whatever is blocking our view or is taking up space. Sometimes that even includes the good things if it causes us to live in the past We also need to be able to admit when our lives aren’t going the way we desire, and be flexible enough to consider doing things differently.
Here is how you can let go and start living;
Identify self-limiting beliefs and fears – some beliefs and fears can hinder progress and keep you from letting go. Such fears and beliefs include the fear of being alone, the fear of starting something new (relationships, job hunting, and getting used to being around new people), and more. Fears and self-limiting beliefs can be released by feeding your mind the right things, practicing self-affirmations (which encourages you to think positively about important things), and setting your mind on improving your life, among other things. Confront your fears.
Another very important way to address your self-limiting beliefs and fears is though energy work. You can use modalities like the Emotion Code or the Body Code (my two absolute favorites) to release these obstacles that get in the way of you being the best version of you that you can be. The Emotion Code, written by Dr. Bradley Nelson, can be learned and done on your own, or can be done by a certified practitioner.
Choose to live – understand that although you cannot control everything, how you react to certain things is your choice. For example, you cannot control how people treat you but whether you let that hold you back and make you feel worthless is your choice. Choose to let some things and people be while you move forward. You are solely responsible for your life and how you react to what happens. You are also more than capable to handle any situation that may arise. You are living proof that you are choosing to live.
Self-discovery – know who you are, what you want, what makes you happy, and what is important to you. This helps you identify time wasters and things that are not going the way you would prefer to have them. Get rid of any time waster that is holding you back from your dream life, and replace it with something that helps you grow.
Live in the present – focus on the present and how you can improve it. Forget what happened in the past. It does not bring value and it can take away your happiness, stall your progress, or even affect your mental health. You cannot change the past but you can use the lessons from it to build your future and improve the present. Once you realize the value of the present and its opportunities, you will learn to let go of the past.
As for the future, it is good to have goals – actually it is essential to have goals, but it’s not healthy to mainly focus on the future. You need to experience the present. Learn from what is going on around you, take in all that you see, stay present so you don’t miss out and wake up one day realizing your life has passed you by.
Take inventory of what you are holding on to right now – you need to be aware of the value of things that make a difference in your life. It could be a job, a business, or relationships. Identify the benefits and losses that you are making from it. If there are more losses even after having given it a fair chance, do not settle for less than you deserve. Let go and open space for new opportunities. Change is difficult, and even sometimes scary, but it is worth the investment.
Maintain healthy relationships – sometimes letting go is hard because we lack the support that we need to make it through – especially when dealing with relationships, friendships, and work stress. Talking to someone can help you work through the tough issues and find solutions. Spend time with others who are good for you to be with, avoid those that are not, and keep yourself busy.
Do not give in to negativity – others may discourage you and make you feel like you are making a bad choice. While it is good to listen to and learn from others, sometimes you are the only person who understands what you are going through and why you need to make some changes. Carefully consider the possible results of whatever decision you make from the advice others are giving you. Work on staying positive, focusing on solutions, not on the difficulty of the situation.
Vow to always go forward – you owe yourself that much. Make sure every step you take counts and you never stay in a difficult place for too long, refuse to allow yourself to go backwards. Whatever happens, keep moving forward. Put your focus on the opportunities you find, keep your eye on your goals, and you will find the solutions for the things getting in the way of your peace. Life is bigger than that one business, job, or relationship that did not work the way you expected. Don’t be afraid to let it go.
Find your purpose – find your joy!
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Did you find a few more ideas of your own? If so, I’d love to hear about them in the comments, and as always please reach out with your thoughts.