We all want to have a peaceful life. Imagine yourself waking up every morning, fully refreshed, with total optimism. You have no worries, no stress, and no judgment. Wait – did I just say no judgment? Yes, I did – and here is my question to you today, “Are You Holding Yourself Back by Judging Others?”
Don’t answer right away – today we are going to look at how you can know whether you are judging, what the symptoms are, and what you can do about it. Take some time to reflect on what you read and then come back and answer.
It’s important to stop judging – that is not your place, and it doesn’t do anyone any good. I’m not talking about just judging others, but also judging yourself. In order to have a peaceful life, one must live in a judgment free environment. You don’t need any negative self talk, or negative judgements going on in your mind. You want to attract only the most positive energy you can.
When you are in a state of judgment, you become critical of everything that is going on around you. You fail to see the beauty and the goodness that is naturally all around you. You question everything, looking for the flaws, criticizing, and assuming that nothing is really as good as it appears. You may even begin to find yourself quite the cynic.
You will hear often hear me say that like attracts like, so in this situation if you are constantly in a state of judgment, then you will attract those that are also in a state of judgment. It’s kind of like the two grumpy old men on the park bench finding fault in everything that passes them by. By the end of their visit they are sure life is hopeless and there is no reason to go on, but make plans to meet again tomorrow.
“When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself.” Earl Nightingale
It’s time to take a closer look at yourself. Are there issues you are judging in others that you really need to work on in yourself? Here are some questions for your reflection:
Are your truly satisfied with your own life? When you’re having a hard time, feeling unsettled, and generally dissatisfied with life, you might project those feelings onto others by judging them.
Do you believe in yourself? If your answer is not a resounding yes, then you probably struggle to believe in yourself. That makes it hard to believe in others because it’s easier to reflect those doubts onto others to avoid confronting your own issues.
Do you feel that life is out of control? Judging others may mean that you feel the need to control the situation because you can’t control what’s going on in your life. Do you believe that others ought to behave just like you, react to situations like you would, and feel like you do? That’s just not the way a peaceful life works.
Assess how much time and effort you spend focusing on your own character defects. We all have something about ourselves that could stand some alteration. Looking carefully within yourself promotes self-understanding. It also helps you identify what things you’d like to change.
Is what you are focusing on the best use of your energy? If you continuously focus on the things you dislike in others, what are the chances you can do anything about it? Probably nothing useful, plus it isn’t your responsibility to make life changes for others. On the flip side, if you discover something about yourself you dislike, you can make better use of your energy to improve yourself.
Are you happy with who you are as a person? Evaluating yourself in an honest way is important. Locating the source of unhappiness within you can lead to a brighter pathway, and decrease your desire to judge others.
Are you perfect? Let’s face it – you may be good, but nobody’s perfect. Being critical of others seems to be a common element of the human condition. Whether or not we can ever completely obliterate our compelling urges to judge may be a controversial topic I personally believe you can learn to be judgment free. It’s a choice.
Don’t confuse unhealthy judgment for discernment and wisdom. Recognize when it’s okay to acknowledge unhealthy traits in others. It’s important to be reminded that there are situations when it’s in your best interest to identify things in others that trouble you.
Maybe you’re thinking about becoming friends with someone. But then, you observe them engaging in behaviors that make you feel uncomfortable. Your judgment may be telling you to avoid pursuing the friendship. Listen to that internal voice at times like these. There’s a find line between being judgmental and being wise.
Are you continually judging yourself? Most importantly, and I can’t stress this enough, you need to give yourself some grace. Get rid of the negative self talk. Say good things to yourself. Tell yourself what an awesome individual you are. Do things that make you feel accomplished, like you make a difference. As you begin to feel better about yourself, you will begin to feel better about others.
You can continue to grow into a vital, positive individual who focuses your efforts on living the life you desire. Letting go of the judgment will give you with the time and energy you need to enhance your own life’s journey and become the best self you can be.
Find your purpose – find your joy!
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Did you find a few more ideas of your own? If so, I’d love to hear about them in the comments, and as always please reach out with your thoughts.
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