We all want to have a good relationship with our partner. It makes life much more peaceful. But, what if instead of settling for a good relationship, we could have a great relationship? Wouldn’t that be so much better?
We were not meant to be alone, so that requires having relationships. Relationships can be really hard, especially those with our significant others. We see all kinds of examples – on television, in the movies, on social media – and it looks picture perfect most of the time, but in reality, that is not the case. It takes work.
Here are a few ways to help you feel more connected as a couple, and start to take that relationship from good to great:
Check in often
Ask your partner about their day. Listen and pay attention. Showing support doesn’t only have to be only during big work projects and promotions. It’s everyday signs of caring and empathy.
Being supportive of your significant other means showing compassion and understanding.
The important thing to remember is that you have to be intentional and proactive in your actions. Making an effort is now easier than ever, thanks to technology. Why not send an emoji or a text just to check in? Even better, call them up for a few minutes to chat and see how they’re day is going. Post something on their social media timeline with a special memory or thought that reminded you of your mate. These little things help build a relationship and make your partner feel like you care.
Appreciate the small things
For a good relationship to grow and mature you have to treat it as a work in progress. It’s the small positive steps that lead to long term growth. Focus daily on the small moments that give your relationship meaning and value.
You don’t need big gestures like in the movies. All you need to build a strong, loving relationship is to kiss each other before heading out to work or give each other a hug before going to bed. It’s the consistency and frequency of those little moments that really matter in the end.
Dr. Kristie Overstreet, a relationship expert and certified sex therapist, says, “A healthy relationship is one based in trust and security. [This is why] small gestures are a great way to keep these two things strong.”
Get spicy now and then
Picture this: you eat the same meal every day. After a while, it becomes humdrum and unexciting. You begin to just go through the motions of eating just to eat. It’s the same way with the Intimate parts of your life together. Trying new things as a couple will add a new dimension to your intimacy and bring you closer together.
Spicing things up doesn’t have to apply to the bedroom. Variety is key in any strong relationship.
Why not plan a dinner date or an impromptu lunch at your partner’s favorite restaurant? Find ways to spend time together as a couple. One fun rule to live by is the 2 x 2 x 2 rule. Go out for at least two hours every two weeks. Then, every two months, get away somewhere for the weekend. And every two years, go away for an entire week (2 weeks if you can).
Knowing that each of you is making and taking time for the other is one of the roots of any great romance. Prioritizing time for one another means you understand the importance, and doing things together not just an afterthought.
Share your gratitude
Whether you’ve been in a relationship for six months or 10 years, relationships get comfortable after a while. While this is a good thing, it can make you take your partner’s nice acts of kindness for granted.
These acts of kindness are how your partners show their love and appreciation for you. So, it’s only natural that you return those same affections by taking time to say thank you.
Stop and ask yourself, how do you show kindness to your partner? Don’t assume they know you appreciate them, make sure they know by telling them or sharing your kindness in other ways.
Remember to communicate with each other 
Work, responsibilities, money, and kids can all take their toll on relationships. They’re some of the main reasons why communication between couples takes a back seat to everything else.
One way to help ease communication into your lives is to take time daily to check in with each other. Make it a point to set aside time each day to talk with your significant other about just normal, ordinary, everyday stuff. In the long run, these times are what help deepen your intimacy and connection.
When communication lines are open between you and your partner, it helps prevent small issues from snowballing into bigger problems. This doesn’t necessarily mean you have to bring up every little thing. It just means that you get into the habit of calling out issues with each other in a calm, understanding way. Over time, this can become a habit where you effectively nip things in the bud before they get out of head.
I hope your found something in these simple tips that will help you grow your relationships to the next level. Remember, an open and honest relationship will lead to a great relationship, and a great relationship is truly worth the effort.
Find your purpose – find your joy!
Hi Sue,
You have highlighted in your article some very important aspects, in order to maintain a healthy couple relationship. Indeed, it is a continuous process of growing together as partners. It’s like a fire that if you don’t maintain it, it goes out.
Steve Maraboli gives a beautiful definition: “I want love, passion, honesty and companionship, sex that drives me crazy and conversation that drives me sane”. I totally agree with him.
Thank you for sharing the article, Sue. I like the topic of your website in general, and of the article in particular. Keep up the great work!,👍
Hi Diana – thank you for sharing your thoughts. I love the quote!
Hello Diana, nice post you have here! So true that a relationship lives from the little things in everyday life, unlike our romantic but wrong vision of moments of great meaning or great changes, like as if you’re stroke by a divine light and everything changes inside you.
I can tell you that the first moments after the birth of my child were quite stressful (and it’s one of those very meaningful moments in a couple’s life), and I just can’t make all my happiness depend of that moment. I am quite glad it doesn’t work that way at all 🙂
I have to confess that unlike many others, my relationship has been IMPROVING with time, and it’s because both me and my husband are more mature, self-improving and committed to this relationship. Our biggest strenght is our communication, it has been solving all the obstacles so far.
But you are very right about doing small things to show your partner how important he/she is to you, very often. Although I have to admit I don’t do everything in your “list” 🙂
Cheers and thanks for this post,
Sofia
Hi Sofia –
Thanks for commenting on my blog. I hope you find that the little things increase in frequency and your relationship gets stronger every day. I’m glad to hear your relationship is improving with time – that means you are attentive to each others’ needs and committed to making things work.
Thanks again,
Sue Pine
You have mentioned some of the most important aspects of maintaining and building a relationship. Communication to me is key to so much and if we make time each day for one another, misunderstandings can be avoided. I love your 2 x 2 x 2 suggestion. The little things in life matter, and that applies to any relationship, so acknowledge the small things that you partner does that he will feel appreciated.
Hi – and thank you for sharing your thoughts on this post. You’re correct about communication and making the time – these are so very important!